Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? -Matthew 6:26

As we walk through this adventure called life, we remind ourselves that we are all precious children of our Father-- those of us who have walked a little further down the road striving to guide those who have been entrusted to our care for a time. Here is our journey down this path.

Sunday, August 16, 2009

49 hours

Well--we anxiously awaited the 48 hour mark. It came....and went. Knowing she said she would call either way, we didn't really know what to think. Finally, the phone rang and she told us that she was waiting to be sure because sometimes there is a time delay, but the little girl did not show back up on the list. So, the other family did decide to proceed with her adoption. I have to admit that I was not surprised, but still very disappointed. I kept thinking of the word 'deflated'. I just didn't really have any other description. There have been a few tears (on my part--Jeff has been a rock!) and a few thoughts of "15 minutes!! how crazy!!!" But, overall we are not doubting. We do not doubt that she was not the right child for our family. And that there is still another little girl who already is part of our family--we just have to return to the patient waiting for her. Most of all we don't doubt that God has the absolute best plan and that it WILL happen in his time.

So, for now from our family of 5....


Thursday, August 13, 2009

Ups and Downs

Well...what an emotional day it has been for us. We actually got a call. You have to understand that for the last year, my cell phone has been plastered to me--I never am without it, JUST IN CASE. Maybe our social worker doing our home study needed some information, maybe the adoption agency would have a question about our file and now, maybe they would call--THE call. I didn't expect it yet--not nearly this soon, but was trying to be prepared. Well, I had a crazy day at work yesterday--so crazy that by the end of the day, I could only laugh. When I finally got home at close to 8:00, there was a message on our machine from the adoption agency! My first thought was 'why didn't they try my cell?'. That is when I realized I didn't have it with me!!!!! After having it literally every day-the one day they called. Well, of course we couldn't get ahold of them last night, so called them this morning. There were actually 2 girls on the list that they thought we might be interested in. We had a few reservations about one, so decided to look at the other. After reviewing her file, we were really excited and thought we might have found her. We took a few minutes to calm down, talk and pray together. Then, I called the agency to ask them to lock her file for us. As we were talking, she said she had just checked 15 minutes prior and she was still available. Well, you can probably guess what I am about to say...she was off of the list! Someone else from another agency had locked her file in the 15 minutes before I called. WOW! We were of course dissapointed, but we are resting in the fact that we have a God who is sovereign and who has the absolute best for us.

In thinking of all of the events of the last 2 days, I see that he has our perfect plan in mind. Even in me not having my phone with me. After the initial conversation with the agency, there were emails and medical records and pictures to review, calling Jeff, calling the agency, etc, etc. There is NO WAY I could have done that yesterday. And then as we were praying just before we called back, we asked that God would make it absolutely clear if this was her or not. We felt that she was, but it was having to be such a quick decision that we were still a little uneasy. Well, we feel like that prayer was answered--maybe not the way we wanted, but it certainly was clear for the time being.

The story isn't quite over, yet, however. Once a file is locked, there is a 48 hour period in which some paperwork must be filed or the child will go back on the list. So, there is a (probably small) possibility that she will show up again on Saturday afternoon. Our agency is going to watch for us and let us know. We feel that if she is there on Saturday, she is our little girl and if not, she never was meant to be and that our sweet child is still waiting for us to find her. It actually made it easy for us--practically but maybe not emotionally.

As you can probably tell, we have somewhat of a wounded heart tonight. So, please pray for us--for our spirits, for peace resting in our Father who gives us the promise of his goodness and the promise of hope: "For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." Jeremiah 29:11

Until Saturday,
Jennifer-for us all

Monday, August 10, 2009

Log In Date

Hello to all--
Hope you are all well. We have been very quiet on the adoption front. We sent our paperwork and it was hand delivered to the CCAA on June 22nd. However, they don't necessarily 'log in' the paperwork that day. Our agency told us it usually took a while to get an actual LID (log in date). They notified us today that our LID is July 13th. They sent the attached letter as a momento...
After all of the running around getting papers signed and mailing packages and writing letters, it seems strange not to have a 'to do' list, but now we are patiently waiting for the next step. And amazingly 'patiently' is really true. We aren't feeling anxious or jumping every time the phone rings or distracted from life waiting to hear something. We are really excited and will be ecstatic when we do hear, but for now we have patient hearts--not of our own doing, of course! God is good and gives us everything we need for each season of this process! Thanks for all of your support and encouragement!